There is a lot that children pick up about religion without needing to be taught.

Yom Kippur in particular taught me lasting lessons about Judaism, without a teacher saying a single word. As a child, I remember seeing adults beating their chests during the Ashamnu prayer during high holiday services and thinking, this must be what god wants us to do when we make mistakes- hurt ourselves. 

While that might have made sense for our spiritual ancestors, it didn’t work for me as a child, and this is an idea I’ve needed to unlearn. I am more likely to do the work of teshuvah, of re-turning my actions to be in alignment with my values, when I approach myself from a place of compassion and love.

Years ago, before leading my first high holiday family services, I wrote this version of Ashamnu for the children in the room, and the child that I once was. What if, instead of hurting ourselves, we are lightly tapping on our hearts like we tap on a door, sweetly urging it to open? 

For parents and educators:

After you sing this song together, you can ask each other:

• What is something you’d like to do differently this year? How can we support you in making this change? We love you! 
• Grownups can go first to model how none of us, even adults, are perfect. 

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Music produced by Michael Levine, Ori Salzberg, & Eliana Light.